It's Not About Her.
Let's take a minute to talk about comparison and competition within our calling. Because looking at ourselves in the mirror and picking a part every minor flaw, unmet expectation, or extra pound does wonders of damage on our minds but picking apart a gift that God gave us and equipped us with does damage on His kingdom, our purpose, and our view of everything and everyone around us.
I would call myself a competitive person, not even the kind of competitor that is good at everything, but the type of competitor that wants to be good at everything. Then I get frustrated when I realize that I am, in fact, merely mediocre at things. A great example of this is card games in a large group of people, and I will happily admit that I am the sorest of losers and get frustrated when I am not the one winning. Some have even labeled me "too competitive," and they're right. Being a competitor can be valuable on the sports field, but when it leaks into our spirits, it is destructive in the kingdom of God.
Being competitive when we look at other sisters doing ministry alongside us not only ruins the possibility of relationship but hardens our hearts towards the unity that could happen when we bring two callings together.
She has the job I want. She is better at this than me. She gets more opportunities. She, she, she…
But this isn't even about her, it's about you.
“But this isn’t even about her, it’s about you.”
Focusing on what someone else has or is doing fuels the need to prove to ourselves that we are the best. The sad reality is that we may not be, and that's okay. Because odds are if we're obedient to God's voice in our life, we are precisely where we need to be. And where we need to be isn't where whoever we're looking at is. It's time to cut the competitive and comparing spirits in ministry against our allies and start cheering them on in what they're doing. It's time to stop questioning where we are called to in this season and start walking in it.
God has placed us where we need to be. He hasn't called us to covet what someone else is doing. When God places us, the enemy will begin to question us. It is the questioning that creates competition and comparison where we start wondering what would happen if we had what she has.
But if we had what she has, we would probably just look at someone else and do the same thing. Because comparison and competition aren't about someone else, it's about us. Our insecurities manifest in forms of competition and comparison when we feel threatened, less than, overlooked, or replaced. It's time to shut down the lies that skew our vision of those around us. Start praying for our own heart and calling as God brings us through seasons. Start asking God to clarify his placement of us so that we stop questioning our call and start walking in it.
“Start asking God to clarify his placement of us so that we stop questioning our call and start walking in it.”
We weren't designed to compete or compare ourselves with the women on our left and right, we were called to cheer them on. We were called to cheer ourselves on too. We are created for community. We were designed for our specific calling in God's specific time.
You were designed to be you, and that's not about her – it's about you.
"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."
Galatians 6:4 (NIV)