Birthing Hope

As an old year passes and a new year approaches, my introspection often kicks in on overdrive. If I'm not careful with the process of letting go, I can usually find myself in the rut of hashing over the unmet goals, dreams, and the unchecked boxes on my carefully planned to-do list. Or concentrating on the hard places that felt a little harsh to handle. Author Ann Voskamp calls the hard places the torn places in our life. And some of the torn places actually rip us apart.

"What was intended to tear you apart, God intends it to set you apart. What has torn you, God makes a thin place to see glory." 

- Ann Voskamp

There's always that moment in the old year/new year evaluation practice when grace arrives in the torn places of the past, and hope begins for the new.

My Father passed away on November 2nd, and little did I know that some of his last words to me would propel me into the new of 2020. As his body was dying, his mind remained sharp, and he said, "When I look at you, I see hope." As he uttered these eight, little, but significant words to me, the holiness of the moment when life transitions from death to new life, God spoke hope into the torn place. The place where I was weary from his extended illness and my heart was ripping into pieces.  

You see, my friend, In the middle of it all there's hope. In death and dying, there is hope. In misunderstanding and misfortune, there's hope. In sickness and financial difficulty, there's hope because Jesus is hope in our torn places. Although all is not good in our life, all is good because God promises "that we can with great confidence know that God is deeply concerned about us and causes all things to work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His plan and purpose (Rom 8:28 AMP)."

Death, dying, and letting go is always a part of birthing hope and granting grace. During my dad's extended illness, I felt a little like Peter when he said, "All this talk of death and dying, Lord. No. Never." There were times I wanted to scream, "Why does death have to be a part of the process? Why can't we go on living?"

Why does it take torn places to bring us into close proximity with the one who died for us? Like Jesus' rebuke to Peter, I could also hear Jesus speak to me in the stillness of the night while I sat by my dad's bedside questioning the Sovereign's intentions. Whispering that "it's only in dying and death that hope is fulfilled." To birth new dreams, old fears need put to rest. I could hear God speaking to me to trust Him to take me to the thin place so that I may see His glory. Because sometimes we need to embrace the dying places and trust that God will make all things good. Always.

As I arrived at my dad's bedside for the last time on Friday evening, he knew I was there, but he wouldn't speak to me again. His hope was about to become a reality. His hope that Heaven is a real place. Jesus did go to prepare a place for us. Jesus is all-loving and grace. As I stood there with my mom in his final hours on earth, a holy hope entered the room. I had the realization that something bigger than me was bringing peace to the situation. That in death, I could continue to hope. That during the thin and torn places, God is taking me to a new level of trust. The journey would be difficult, but hope remains, grace abounds, and embers in our heart will blaze again with new dreams and hope-filled promise.

Thomas Watson, a Puritan preacher, wrote, "If the worst things work for good to a believer, what shall the best things? Nothing hurts the godly … all things … shall co-operate for their good, that their crosses shall be turned into blessings." So, my friend, as a new year approaches and we contemplate letting go of the holy torn places, get ready for hope. Get ready for your new blessings—they're on their way.

Offering our Calling

I recently returned from a missions trip to Cairo, Egypt. If you’ve ever been on a missions trip, know that God shows you A LOT of things about the country and the people, but also about yourself. And when you get home, it's often so hard to wrap your own mind around it all, let alone try to explain it to anyone else. For me, God revealed many things (much of it on just the first two days of the trip) and when I got a bit overwhelmed! But He encouraged me, saying, "Don't worry! You don't have to understand it all right now. I will reveal more to you, let's take it one step at a time!"

One of these things that God showed me came from the second day of my Cairo trip. Our team met with a group of missionaries who use social media to spread the gospel. One missionary shared with us about her journey from complacency about Jesus to now leaving the comfort of the United States to serve in Cairo. She discussed the challenges as a woman serving in a predominately-Muslim, third-world country. And she also talked about the difficulties of not having enough people to reach out to areas in the Arab world, where most of the people are unreached with the news of Jesus and the gospel. When I asked her what might be the reason so few people come to areas like this, her response stirred something in me that is still giving me cause to ponder and seek God: “We often talk about calling, but we don’t talk nearly enough about offering.”

“ “We often talk about calling, but we don’t talk nearly enough about offering.” ”

At first, I interpreted that statement as if I needed to lower the emphasis on calling in order to focus on offering. You know, like Romans 12:1 where we are urged to "to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God." I took it to mean we have to be more focused on being sacrificial. That calling was competing with our offering. We want to have a title or position to feel qualified to go to hard places (maybe even Cairo) where life is tough, where you will sacrifice all of who you are in order to reach the broken people in broken places. And that may be true, God may call you to some hard places or seasons where you give up the entitled ideology that we sometimes place on the concept of calling. But after turning this idea over in my mind a couple times, I think of offering not as being in competition with calling, but rather deepening the concept of calling. If we look at calling in terms of offering, we can refocus. This makes our calling more about our character, giftings, and attributes—placed in God's hands—so it is not merely attached to a specific title or position.

“This makes our calling more about our character, giftings, and attributes—placed in God’s hands—so it is not merely attached to a specific title or position. ”

Being a former teacher, who now works as an admin assistant in an office, I can see how, even in my new context, I am called to be a teacher. The teacher calling didn't leave me when my title and position changed. I still offer the skills, talents, and abilities that gave glory to the Lord in the classroom, now I just use them in the office. And maybe you feel a call to be in women's ministries, but instead of working in a church, with the title of women's ministry director or pastor, you work in an office. And in that office, somehow, God always seems to bring a woman in your path who needs the exact giftings that you have. Or you feel called to be a worship leader, but you worship with your lifestyle and influence in a marketplace setting instead of a church service.

Or maybe you do work in a church, with the title of pastor, where you are called to full-time ministry. In that context, what makes you successful and brings God glory is that you offer all you have to Him and His ministry.

I encourage you to examine your current context. Examine your calling and ask yourself, "Do I interpret my calling through the lens of a title and position, or do I interpret it as an offering to the LORD, a gift I can give to honor him?" I hope this view will help me to be more open to what God wants me to be and where he wants me to go, because my calling is attached to him and not to my title. And I am hoping the same for you.

Thankful for You.

I saw the movie Harriett last week, a film about Harriett Tubman, one of America's greatest female heroes. Wow! Go and see the movie.

Harriett Tubman's escape from slavery gave her the audacious courage and tenacity to free hundreds of slaves and change the course of history. The movie Harriett has several great moments and quotes. Still, one of my favorites is when they question her ability to do what she needed to do because she was a woman. Marie says of Harriett, "What's a man to a woman touched by God."

I'm thankful for Harriett Tubman, a woman touched by God, and I'm thankful for you. A sisterhood of women stirred by God to make a difference, one life at a time.

“God’s not looking for spectacular; He is looking for obedience.”

I hear you saying, "I'm no Harriett Tubman." "I'm not doing anything spectacular for God, and I will never be an American hero." God's not looking for spectacular; He is looking for obedience.

Harriett's remarkable ability to free herself and others from slavery was in her fierce obedience to the voice of God. In the face of fear, her obedience was forceful--bold obedience. I'm thankful for you. I've heard many of your stories. Some of you are at the start of stepping out into brave obedience. Others have already taken a significant leap in obeying God's inner tug to go and do. And some are already through the obedience journey cheering for your sisters to do the same. There's no need to be impressive; you only need to act upon what God is asking you to do.

Harriett's first journey north was alone—in the middle of nowhere being chased and hunted with no GPS or map to show her the way. But she wasn't alone—God was with her the entire journey leading, guiding, and illuminating the path to take. You're not alone either.  I know it seems terrifying to take the first step, but God wants to go with you in the dreams and into the blessed life he has for you. God's not looking for you to go it alone; He wants to walk with you into your scary place and free you to establish the dreams in your heart.

As Harriett gets ready to escape, her father tells her first to go and see Reverend Green. As they're sitting in the church, Reverend Green says to Harriett, "Fear is your greatest enemy." In other words, if you're going to do this, keep going and don't be afraid. That's when I almost stood up in the middle of the theater and shouted, "That's right, Harriett, 'God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.' You go, girl! Faith over fear!" I didn't do it, but I wanted to. Remember that in audacious dreaming and fierce obedience, God has not given you a spirit of fear. It's your enemy. Run from it. And when you run far from your worries and into courageous obedience, you'll run right into the arms of God.

“I know you have had times when you felt like giving up, but I’m thankful for you because you didn’t. You allowed God’s voice to lead you instead of fear. ”

There are always people and obstacles along the obedience route that make it more difficult or cause us to second guess the "what" that God is asking of us. One of these "tough" moments in the movie is when Harriett tells the Freedom movement that she's going back to free more slaves. Worried for her life, they try to deter her tenacity and courage by telling her that it's too far for her to go back. Harriett responds, "I'm not going to give up rescuing slaves because it's far!" I know you have had times when you felt like giving up, but I'm thankful for you because you didn't. You allowed God's voice to lead you instead of fear. I want to challenge you, my friend. Fill in your own blank in the face of fear. “I’m not going to give up ____________ because it’s __________.

I'm thankful for you and your fierce obedience. You're not alone in the journey: God and others who have gone before you are cheering for you. The Sisterhood is growing, and we're understanding that we're better together. So, have faith over fear sisters and believe God for the impossible. Our God is big, and He illuminates your path. You go, girl! If I were with you right now, I'd give you a big high five because you're pretty incredible, and I'm so thankful for you!

Lie-Vines and Fear-Thorns

Over the last few weeks, I have been systematically fighting the vines and thorns threatening to overtake a beautiful cherry tree in my back yard. The wilderness seemingly lurched forward, from beyond the boundary line, took root, and wrapped their twirling tendrils around the classy cherry tree, threatening to choke it out. Some parts of the overgrowth were eight feet high with trunks wide enough to need power tools to cut through. Despite wearing protective gloves, the thorns were still vicious enough to stab my hands and arms. I was determined to save the tree and clear the large rectangle of land, so I fought hard.

At first, the work was overwhelming. The plot of land was large, and the overgrowth seemed too much for one person. I was thankful for a few hours of encouraging help from a friend knowledgable in how to remove such powerful growth. Each time I successfully pulled a long length of vine out of the mess, I felt a twinge of victory, motivating me to keep at it. As I pulled and cut, I discovered a few logs that were hidden beneath the vines. One was covered in a beautiful blanket of soft, green moss, and the other one was just there, without bark. Because I was prioritizing the removal of the vines and roots, I left the logs alone.

A few days later, I went back out to keep tackling the task and noticed that there was a great deal of wood missing from the logs. I initially thought someone had been there and broken the logs up with an ax, but then I realized that it was likely birds and other critters that had come by for a meal of grubs or bugs. With the vines removed and the logs exposed, the wildlife found the feast easily. I had many hours of uninterrupted work to think about what I saw.

As I pulled, cut, wrangled, and winced occasionally, I realized that, because of the removal of the junk, the beauty of the logs was able to be seen and found by those that needed them. The treasures hidden deep inside the logs- the grubs and bugs were now exposed. It reminded me of Scripture’s encouragement to us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1)

“The gifts and dreams God had put within me hadn’t been taken out, but they were just too covered up to even be seen or to be a blessing to other people.”

There was a time when I felt covered in vines. Many of those vines were planted there by other people, and I was too afraid to pull them out. Some of the entanglements were just there because they lurched in from the fallen world in which we live. The gifts and dreams God had put within me hadn’t been taken out, but they were just too covered up to even be seen or to be a blessing to other people. The lie-vines and fear-thorns were strong and thick, just like the woody overgrowth in my backyard. Carefully and with the utmost tenderness, God slowly began cutting those dense entanglements at the trunks and pulling the roots out. Some vines were slow to release, others were removed in powerful moments of healing. Many of the vines had been tenderly removed by the hands of Jesus-centered people God used. Other times, the Holy Spirit did his untangling work in the quietness of prayer times. As the layers of lies and fears were removed, I began to see the glimpses of what God had planned for me and how I could be a blessing to others.

As the lie-vines and fear-thorns are removed, it often feels a little scary to be so exposed, to be so real, and to wonder how God will use me…and maybe I am not the only one that feels that way. Sometimes we might feel like the beautiful, moss-covered log, and other times we feel like the ruddy, barkless log. Still, either way, we have gifts, dreams, and talents that God packed inside us to be used for the nourishment, encouragement, and the pushing-towards-Jesus of others. Being a leader- whether with a title or not- our responsibilities and visibility can make it tough to maintain vulnerability or transparency. When we worry about what may happen, we can follow the instructions found in the verse right after we are told to live unentangled. We can “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author, and perfecter of our faith…”. (Hebrews 12:2) There is no more secure way of living than by keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.  When our eyes are on Jesus, the “this-is-me” and the “this-is-what-God-is-doing-in-me” exposure isn’t so scary.

May all of your entangling vines be removed so your tasty treasures can be found by those longing for nourishment.

There's Always Tomorrow.

“She believed she could, but she was tired … so she rested, and you know what? The world went on, and it was ok. She knew she could try again tomorrow.”

The day I read this quote on Instagram, I awoke utterly exhausted, and I had slept for eight hours the night before. I thought I don’t know what this girl is talking about, but I’m not ready to try again today, and tomorrows not looking good either. As I lay there contemplating my tiredness, I had visions of pulling the covers over my head and staying in bed all day.

I’ll spare you details, but it’s been a rough season lately, and there’s a whole heap of stuff needing my attention. It could be the hazard of my Myers-Briggs ESTJ personality thriving on an executed to-do list. But I could feel myself depleting and the whole superwoman, high-five me, get it done, over-the-top female goddess illusion went out the window.

What about you? Is anyone tired? Can I get a witness? Raise that hand!

We can find ourselves tired of many things on the journey. The struggle is often heavy to carry, and we all have our stuff—some heavy, heavy stuff.

But, in the contemplation of my hefty load or whether or not I could try again today or even tomorrow, I was reminded of Psalm 46:10 (Passion translation), "Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving, and you will see that I am God."

It didn’t happen suddenly, but, after a while, I reset in my attitude, and I started to inch out from under the covers. I realized that it’s not the weight that is heavy; it is the lack of surrender of the load.

“Jesus was reminding me that in all of my tiredness to come to him.”

Jesus was reminding me that in all of my tiredness to come to him. That in handing it all over to him, I will recover my life. Surrendering will show me how to take a real rest and learn the unforced rhythms of grace. God doesn’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on us, but he desires that we learn to live free and light.

So, in this season of lots of stuff, there’s a couple of things God is teaching me.

• Physical rest is essential, and sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is take a nap.

• Spiritual rest is found only in surrender. It’s not in loud prayers, and a lengthy checklist of bible chapters read.

• Grace overflows in abundance. We simply need to throw our hands up and ask for more.

• And remember, we’re not alone in the fight because God is faithful to call others to come alongside and fight for us while we rest. It’s vital to permit others to carry the burden for you.

One of my favorites in this season is Psalm 3, particularly verse 5, “I lie down and sleep: I wake again because the Lord sustains me.”

I believe you can, my friend, even though you’re tired. So rest awhile as the world keeps moving on—it’s ok, there’s always tomorrow.

It's Not About Her.

Let's take a minute to talk about comparison and competition within our calling. Because looking at ourselves in the mirror and picking a part every minor flaw, unmet expectation, or extra pound does wonders of damage on our minds but picking apart a gift that God gave us and equipped us with does damage on His kingdom, our purpose, and our view of everything and everyone around us.

I would call myself a competitive person, not even the kind of competitor that is good at everything, but the type of competitor that wants to be good at everything. Then I get frustrated when I realize that I am, in fact, merely mediocre at things. A great example of this is card games in a large group of people, and I will happily admit that I am the sorest of losers and get frustrated when I am not the one winning. Some have even labeled me "too competitive," and they're right. Being a competitor can be valuable on the sports field, but when it leaks into our spirits, it is destructive in the kingdom of God.

Being competitive when we look at other sisters doing ministry alongside us not only ruins the possibility of relationship but hardens our hearts towards the unity that could happen when we bring two callings together.

She has the job I want. She is better at this than me. She gets more opportunities. She, she, she…

But this isn't even about her, it's about you.

“But this isn’t even about her, it’s about you.”

Focusing on what someone else has or is doing fuels the need to prove to ourselves that we are the best. The sad reality is that we may not be, and that's okay. Because odds are if we're obedient to God's voice in our life, we are precisely where we need to be. And where we need to be isn't where whoever we're looking at is. It's time to cut the competitive and comparing spirits in ministry against our allies and start cheering them on in what they're doing. It's time to stop questioning where we are called to in this season and start walking in it. 

God has placed us where we need to be. He hasn't called us to covet what someone else is doing. When God places us, the enemy will begin to question us. It is the questioning that creates competition and comparison where we start wondering what would happen if we had what she has. 

But if we had what she has, we would probably just look at someone else and do the same thing. Because comparison and competition aren't about someone else, it's about us. Our insecurities manifest in forms of competition and comparison when we feel threatened, less than, overlooked, or replaced. It's time to shut down the lies that skew our vision of those around us. Start praying for our own heart and calling as God brings us through seasons. Start asking God to clarify his placement of us so that we stop questioning our call and start walking in it.

“Start asking God to clarify his placement of us so that we stop questioning our call and start walking in it.”

We weren't designed to compete or compare ourselves with the women on our left and right, we were called to cheer them on. We were called to cheer ourselves on too. We are created for community. We were designed for our specific calling in God's specific time.

 You were designed to be you, and that's not about her – it's about you.

 "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."

Galatians 6:4 (NIV)

Lost in Comparison

I tell myself that this is the last time. 

The absolute last time. Fervidly, I close the app on my phone. The last thing I see before the screen goes dark is a pretty little face smiling up at me--the girl that I'm not.

How many times do we find ourselves comparing who we are with who we aren't? Old friends. New friends. People we've never met. Slender, glamorous women stare vacantly at me from magazine covers as I wait in line at the grocery store, their figures causing a twinge of regret in my soul for putting ice cream on the conveyor belt. Most times, we don't even mean to compare... our brains are just wired that way.

"She's thinner, but I'm prettier." "She's taller, but I'm curvier." "She's... but I'm..."

The list is extensive.

Thoughts like these can consume you, defeat you, or even bolster your pride when you come out "on top." Still, even when we "win," we lose. The comparison game goes on and on until we're no longer satisfied with what's in the mirror. We stand a little taller, tuck our gut in, tilt our hips, and hide one leg behind the other. As a woman who leads, maybe you also feel the need to create this illusion of unaffected perfection, when inside, you're shriveling up beneath the glaring deficits you're sure that the whole world sees. And thanks to the internet, the entire world can see!

Technology and social applications continue to be a blessed, double-edged sword. What was created to connect us has now developed the power to divide us. What is for socialization has created competition. There is this unspoken expectation that we need to keep up with or surpass every other woman on our newsfeed. It's no wonder we're over-caffeinated and still mentally exhausted!

 The most prominent social media lie is that we are as perfect as our feed says we are. 

 The perfection feeling is not a direct attack on social media. It is a public confession to a "secret" that I'm pretty sure, is pretty standard. Why do we inflict such unnecessary, un-beneficial, illogical emotional harm upon ourselves? More importantly, what can we do to stop the habit?

Know who you are. They say that charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but that sure doesn't keep me from wanting to be beautifully charming. When we feel assured that we are loved as we are, we feel safer to be who God designed us to be. Well, friend, you were designed with a purpose (Romans 8:28, 1 Peter 1:2). Every freckle, every hair, every dimple… even if that dimple is on your thigh and not your cheek.

It's time to appreciate beauty of every sort, even if it's not your own. Recently, when I feel jealous, I find myself praying for the girls. Women of God, let us lean into the challenge of championing one another instead of drawing back to protect our own "shine." Become thankful for a world full of beauty amongst the bleak. If you're genuinely grateful, it's hard to be jealous.

Just don’t go there.  When you're tempted to click and compare… don't!  Get ahold of yourself, girlfriend.  Develop some self-control (1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Timothy 1:7).  Transform the pattern of your mind (Romans 12:2).  Imagine your self-esteem as a magnificent brick house.  Would you allow someone to tear your home down brick by brick?  That is what we do to ourselves, click by click.

“Nothing good, pure, true, or lovely comes from comparison.”

Nothing good, pure, true, or lovely comes from comparison.  The comparison habit may be hard to break, but in the long run, it is unbearable to live with.  There's enough beauty and grace to go around for everyone.  So, take a deep breath, friends.  Stop your scrolling and let the "last time" be the last time.

The Art of Celebration!

Who doesn't like a party? I'm not talking about a room full of people that makes the introvert in all of us break out into a sweat; instead, a "celebrating each other party." The kind of party where you raise your hands and vocalize a little support and encouragement to your sisters and brothers.

As an individual and leader, this wasn't always true for me. I remember a time when insecurity and isolation caused me to turn inward, and the thoughts inside my head were mostly negative about myself and others. The downward spiral affected the way I was leading the people in my sphere of influence. It was at this particularly low point in my life that I began to seek out friends, mentors, coaches, and became intentional in developing my tribe. The result of these vital celebratory relationships caused my influence to go deeper, become more comprehensive, and reach higher.

Celebrating and encouraging others is a biblical leadership principle. Proverbs 27:17 reveals, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Another biblical example of someone we want to have in our cheering section is Miriam. After the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, it was Miriam, the Prophet, that started to sing the victory song. It takes someone to be a celebratory starter and get the attention of the rest of the team. As an encourager, Miriam started to sing, "We're triumphant—the horse and the rider are thrown into the sea." Moses had just endured one of his hardest leadership moments, so I'm sure Miriam's explosion of a victory celebration was a huge morale booster.

Celebrating has a relational component. I mean, c'mon, it's really dull to celebrate by yourself. You can pretend that it's okay to have a "solo party." In reality, whenever we get that good news we've been waiting for, we want to text or call our favorite celebrator friend to share in the goodness with us.

At the leadership level, competency matters, but a relational celebration is another powerful component of the influencer's journey. Dr. Henry Cloud said that "Wisdom and competency do matter. We do need skills, knowledge, and ability … But … ask many people about their greatest accomplishment and challenges overcome, and you will find one thing in common: there was someone on the other end who made it possible."

Celebrating is attractive. I remember my mom loved to throw a party—birthday, seasonal, or let's just have a cook-out party. She would always gussy up and put on some party attire; make herself a little more attractive for the event rather than her ordinary day-to-day outfit. Think about a recent party or celebration you attended, I'm sure the host went out of their way to make the celebration a little more eye-catching. My friend, Ann, takes special care in how she sets the table, the centerpiece and place-settings are thought out and appropriately placed. What I'm trying to say is that a celebrating-each-other party should be gorgeous to the giver and the receiver.

In the alluring charm of celebrating others, here are a few observations I have made.

1.     Celebrating others will encourage them to do the same for you.

2.     Celebrating others will create a team mindset instead of individual power pats on the back.

3.     As a leader who celebrates others, we are then allowed an open the door to say the hard things to fine-tune leadership development.

4.     Being a celebrating starter is full of rewards. My friend, Jodi Detrick, calls them "first clappers and confetti throwers." 

5.     Celebrating others is as easy as giving a compliment.

“Let’s create a culture of cheering each other on!”

So, how about it, friends? Let's create a culture of cheering each other on! Take the biblical principle of commending and applauding and create a tribe where it becomes attractive and commonplace to hand out compliments and build each other up (I Thess. 5:11, NIV). Be a Miriam to a Moses and cause an outright joyous time of singing for someone in their hardest leadership moment. I believe in you. I think that the party-thrower in you is more beautiful than you will ever know. Let's start an all-out movement of exploding in celebration for one another--I'm pretty sure that joyous occasions are at the very heart of God.